Thursday, June 05, 2008

It's confirmed -- I have this habit of being the main spectator-slash-cheerleader of my friends' love lives. Yep! Just last Saturday, I found myself running around the city trying to make a monthsary perfect. And when all things fell into place and I saw the satisfied smiles on my friends' faces, I couldn't help but give a deep sigh. My work here is done.]

And it isn't the first time this happened. Ever since High School, I have always been the 'bridge' -- the "bujoy" (I, of course, am pertaining to Jolina's character in some movie I'm sure you guys have already seen, haha.) Not that I mind, really. I'm more than happy to help organize the perfect date, or escape from disapproving parents, or fix a couple I know will definitely hit it off. I love being part of something exciting, something magical. But then again, when their eyes meet and share the moment I helped make, I suddenly fade into the background, irrelevant... forgotten. All of a sudden, I'm not part of it anymore. Duh. I never was part of it to begin with.

I'd hate to think I'm like Katherine Heigl from 27 dresses. I refuse to admit I'm THAT pathetic... attending every wedding and living her life through other people's love stories. Then again, I feel like I'm doing the same. :( Oh well, Kat got her cute journalist in the end anyway. Maybe I will too. Or maybe not.

After falling in love twice -- (the last one hurt like hell) I don't think I'm ready to put myself in that position again. Like I told a friend once, I believe in true love when I see it in others. But true love for me? Nah, I'll pass. But everytime I see a couple so happy and so in love, I admit I do get a little curious... envious even. Then all I do is remind myself about all the pain ahead, and it's gone.

Or maybe I just need the right one - the one who'll make my heart beat faster than it should. The one who will make me trust myself again.

And until then, I'll gladly be a spectator. There's nothing like making myself believe in love's magic in others as I wait for my turn to finally feel it. :D

Labels: life, love