Thursday, May 04, 2006

With just a measly sentence, the most important thing in the world to me right now – the one I’ve slaved over and spent too much time on – suddenly doesn’t matter anymore.


They’re breaking SU Team B up…my team.


Stacy, our first speaker, was transferred to Team A to replace Charmaine, their whip. I know that being in Team A is a privilege, much more an opportunity that doesn’t just come to anyone. Being on that team means a greater chance of breaking…a bigger possibility of facing the top debaters in the Philippines and even Asia. If you aren’t any good, you can kiss your dreams of being in team A goodbye. Which is why I’m very proud of Stacy…I’m glad she was picked, from among everybody else, to be in the premier SU team.


But the thing is…Stacy is part of OUR team. Together with Bryce, we have shared a lot of things already – debate strategies, matter, and even chizmax. We meet during free time just to work on our debating approach, in preparation for the next tournaments. We ride home together after debating, courtesy of Mr. Alcantara, just to evaluate our performance and decide how we could do better. Everyone in SUDS can attest to the chemistry we have as a team. We work well together. The three of us work.


When Mark broke the news that he had to get one person from our team to fill in for Charmaine, I felt heartbroken. I’m quite sure that Bryce and Stacy were, too. And it’s not that it means we have to get someone else to complete our team, it’s just that we can’t let anybody go without feeling as if a body part is being detached from our body. Yes, it can be replaced, but…it wouldn’t be the same. I remember being very emotional while the juju was explaining everything to us. He made sense actually, but at that time, I felt like he was talking crap. Other people who were there knew how hard it was for us; heck, even RJ and Noel (the best debaters we’ve got), offered to just adjudicate during the AUDC just so our team wouldn’t break up. Thanks guys, but even we won’t allow that to happen.


I know I’m being overly melodramatic about all this but it just feels so painful. It’s a known fact that in debating, you can never expect anything. Things are bound to be different, everything is bound to change…which means everybody should know how to adjust. If I ever want to be a good debater, I should learn to adjust. I should rid of this feeling of attachment to my teammates, or my tendency to panic in debates. I guess aside from the whole debate process, I still have to learn these lessons.


But right now, I have every prerogative to sulk, and mull over this unfortunate situation. I hate it… but I have to live with it.


Hahay...

I honestly don’t feel like debating right now…