Thursday, June 26, 2008
scribbled by anna katrina
12:02 AM | 3 comments
12:02 AM | 3 comments
this is gonna be a downer, people
I'm feeling a bit low today.
I was surfing the net and bloghopping (as I always do everyday at this hour) when I noticed something peculiar. I was looking for someone in my list of contacts in Multiply because I haven't heard from that person for a long time, but I couldn't find him. I thought that maybe, he changed his account name - but when I checked a common friend's list, he was there.
Then I remembered that just last week, I browsed another friend's contacts in Facebook and saw his account with an "Add as a friend" tag which only meant that he wasn't my contact yet - BUT I was pretty sure that he was one of the first people I added as a friend when I started out in the site. But I added him up anyway, thinking that maybe it was just an accident that I got removed from his list of friends.
I was already a bit taken aback - because if it were an accident, then getting removed from the friend list of the same person in both Multiply and Facebook would be a BIG coincidence. So I went to his blog. And when I looked at his links, I was no longer there.
I honestly don't know what's going on. Obviously, this person is mad at me or wants to stay away from me. I respect his decision, but I at least want to know why or what happened. I want to reach out but I'm afraid of just being shot down. I'm not a confrontational kind of person - anything like that will simply destroy me.
But I do want to know the truth, not because I want things back to the way they were, (coz I know that will never happen) but because I want to set records straight. If there's one thing I truly want to avoid in this lifetime, it's letting friendships die even when I don't want them to. I've had pretty painful experiences like that in the past, and I refuse to put myself in the same ordeal again, of having to let go of someone without even trying to convince him or her to stay.
I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I don't want to hurt anybody.
Maybe I'm just a bad friend. =(
I was surfing the net and bloghopping (as I always do everyday at this hour) when I noticed something peculiar. I was looking for someone in my list of contacts in Multiply because I haven't heard from that person for a long time, but I couldn't find him. I thought that maybe, he changed his account name - but when I checked a common friend's list, he was there.
Then I remembered that just last week, I browsed another friend's contacts in Facebook and saw his account with an "Add as a friend" tag which only meant that he wasn't my contact yet - BUT I was pretty sure that he was one of the first people I added as a friend when I started out in the site. But I added him up anyway, thinking that maybe it was just an accident that I got removed from his list of friends.
I was already a bit taken aback - because if it were an accident, then getting removed from the friend list of the same person in both Multiply and Facebook would be a BIG coincidence. So I went to his blog. And when I looked at his links, I was no longer there.
I honestly don't know what's going on. Obviously, this person is mad at me or wants to stay away from me. I respect his decision, but I at least want to know why or what happened. I want to reach out but I'm afraid of just being shot down. I'm not a confrontational kind of person - anything like that will simply destroy me.
But I do want to know the truth, not because I want things back to the way they were, (coz I know that will never happen) but because I want to set records straight. If there's one thing I truly want to avoid in this lifetime, it's letting friendships die even when I don't want them to. I've had pretty painful experiences like that in the past, and I refuse to put myself in the same ordeal again, of having to let go of someone without even trying to convince him or her to stay.
I know I'm not perfect, but God knows I don't want to hurt anybody.
Maybe I'm just a bad friend. =(
