Monday, November 06, 2006
scribbled by anna katrina
10:14 PM | 1 comments
10:14 PM | 1 comments
A new beginning... i hope.
And so, it begins.
Another semester, another heartache? A few weeks back, i had a major identity crisis, and no, it's not the 'am-I-a-homo?' crisis (hell NO); it was more of an 'I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-I'm-gonna-do!' thing. Let's just say I was caught between two choices that will pretty much determine not just the rest of my college life, but my future career as well (that is, if we put it in extremes - which I would.)
Save being evasive about it, I haven't really done anything with regards to the issue - an individual twist or whatever. I freely let other people persuade and practically, decide for me. And even if I seem to have made up my mind already, endless questions still linger at the back of my head. Convincing myself that I chose the right thing didn't help at all. Not if I was so sure that I'd be better off choosing otherwise. (read: Bryce would surely kill me after he reads this entry.)
Not to mention irritating comments and questions like, "diba ni-shift na ka?" or "Why are you taking this class? Naa diay ni sa Mass Com?" If you've asked me these, don't feel bad, I'm not mad at you. It's kind of my fault, actually - I literally shouted my plans to shift to the whole world. I really just don't want to talk about it... it just depresses me even more.
I guess I have no other choice but to let things unfold on their own. Maybe in the middle of this semester, I'd learn to love my course, or perhaps realize that I'm meant to do something else. Whichever.
I am only hoping that this semester wouldn't be anything like the last one. I can't handle too much drama right now... or ever.
Another semester, another heartache? A few weeks back, i had a major identity crisis, and no, it's not the 'am-I-a-homo?' crisis (hell NO); it was more of an 'I-don't-know-what-the-fuck-I'm-gonna-do!' thing. Let's just say I was caught between two choices that will pretty much determine not just the rest of my college life, but my future career as well (that is, if we put it in extremes - which I would.)
Save being evasive about it, I haven't really done anything with regards to the issue - an individual twist or whatever. I freely let other people persuade and practically, decide for me. And even if I seem to have made up my mind already, endless questions still linger at the back of my head. Convincing myself that I chose the right thing didn't help at all. Not if I was so sure that I'd be better off choosing otherwise. (read: Bryce would surely kill me after he reads this entry.)
Not to mention irritating comments and questions like, "diba ni-shift na ka?" or "Why are you taking this class? Naa diay ni sa Mass Com?" If you've asked me these, don't feel bad, I'm not mad at you. It's kind of my fault, actually - I literally shouted my plans to shift to the whole world. I really just don't want to talk about it... it just depresses me even more.
I guess I have no other choice but to let things unfold on their own. Maybe in the middle of this semester, I'd learn to love my course, or perhaps realize that I'm meant to do something else. Whichever.
I am only hoping that this semester wouldn't be anything like the last one. I can't handle too much drama right now... or ever.
