Monday, September 18, 2006
scribbled by anna katrina
5:09 PM | 7 comments
5:09 PM | 7 comments
Ironic yet true
In perhaps the best conversation I ever had with my mom, she asked me why I no longer have the passion for my studies, unlike before (when i was in elementary and high school). This question baffled me, and I was literally unable to respond. When she asked the question again, I wasn't sure how she'd take my answer.
"I'm just not sure what I really want," was all I could mutter.
Almost squinting, I expected her to start blabbering about how I'm already in my sophomore year and how I wasted my three semesters, when in fact I had all of High School to decide what course I'd like to take and think about what life I'd want to lead.
Honestly, back in High School, if there was one person in our class who knew exactly what he or she wanted, that would be me. Being the president of our graduating batch, I didn't want to seem like I didn't know what to do. When everybody took the Nursing test just to have a fallback in case they do decide to take up the course (even if they didn't want to -- you know how parents are), I stepped back, and confidently told them I would never be a nurse.
Four years of accountancy, then law. After bar exams, I'd be a corporate lawyer in some big company.
At least that's what I told everybody.
Right now, I'm certain that it's no longer what I want. The problem is, I don't know what I want.
Then, being the best mom ever, she asked me what I love doing, what were the things I enjoyed. Perhaps, she could help me decide. "The earlier you make up your mind the better."
I told her that I love talking -- it's the reason why I joined debate society in the first place. I couldn't imagine myself just making financial statements in the corner. (I would die!) I love writing -- stories, essays, poems (however crappy they may be), plays, etc. I love reading, I love sensible and deep conversations, I love meeting new and interesting people, I love music and instruments and singing. I almost love anything except everything that has to do with my present course. Ironic yet true.
She then asked me if I want to shift to Mass Com. Maybe that's where I belong.
I stifled a giggle and replied, "Mie, adopted Mass Com na bya ko."
I was quite sure she didn't understand what I meant by being 'adopted', but she told me how she suggested the course before I even enrolled in college. Of course, I couldn't remember her doing so since I was so sure that I would be taking up accountancy (coz that's what I told everyone).
"Do you think you could finish in four years if you shift to Mass Com? Maybe you can just take full load every summer then you'd be able to graduate in 2009. You better ask their office."
I didn't respond again. I'm not sure if I really wanted to shift. Admittedly, I enjoy the company of a lot of Mass Com students, but I want to make sure this isn't just a phase. I recall wanting to become a teacher just this summer (special thanks to Sir Ian Casocot). Apparently, it was just something that receded right away.
Here's something I thought could help me. Although the Internet isn't exactly the best thing anybody could consult regarding these matters, it doesn't hurt to try. I answered a personality test -- it's supposed to tell me what kind of person I was and what job best suits me.
You Are An ENFP
The Inspirer
You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!
You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.
I read it anxiously, hoping that this could be the savior I was waiting for. After the last sentence, I sighed and laid back lazily on my mom's comfy office chair.
I would make an excellent ENTREPRENEUR, POLITICIAN or JOURNALIST. Great. Just great.
I'm in business administration right now so I can one day be an ENTREPRENEUR (the thing I realized I don't feel like doing anymore), I'm only a student POLITICIAN yet I hate it already (to those who know me personally, remember what I feel like doing?) and I'm not even sure about being a JOURNALIST (despite my mom nudging me to shift to Mass Com).
Oh God! Oh God! Even the Internet couldn't help me out.
I'm hoping that one day I'd wake up with a great desire to be a painter or a filmmaker. Then, it would be sooo much easier.
Help.
